The Gift Within

Some of the greatest advice and life lessons I have ever received have come from people who have lost everything.

I lived in Ashland, Oregon for five years, and during that time I became close with many individuals in the homeless and vagrant community. I call tell you with 100% honesty that I NEVER expected that the "bums" I had been warned about early in life would turn out to be some of the most insightful, caring and giving humans I have ever met. And I definitely never imagined that I would spend my early twenties documenting their lives and struggles. But boy am I glad that I did.

It began my freshman year when I met a 22 year old veteran, Tristan, who left his job, life and family to backpack across the United States. While deployed, Tristan lost his wife, his mother, his grandparents and two of his best friends. He had often discussed traveling across country with his mother and seeing her childhood homes. So, when his four years of service were up, he decided to leave home and walk (yes walk, not hitch hike) from Illinois to Washington and California. It was during his final weeks that we met.

Against the advice of my roommate at the time and the campus RA, I let Tristan into my dorm room to use my shower and take a nap on my spare mattress. I returned after several hours and invited Tristan to join me in the dining hall for dinner. We spent the next four hours talking about his experiences over seas, the loss of his family members, his struggles with mental health and the guilt he felt from the loss of his best friends, his "brothers." I asked Tristan about his journey across the US and what it is like to have nothing, not even a reliable roof over his head. And in that moment he told me something I will never forget, "I am not homeless, I am homefree." Tristan left for California that night and I recall sitting alone in my dorm room wondering what he had meant when he said he was home free.

Over the next four years, I met and recorded the stories of over 100 "homefree" individuals. Many of which became "regulars" - meaning if we ran into each other they knew they were guaranteed a sit-down lunch at a restaurant of their choice (with a college student budget in mind). Each and every person I met made the same impact that Tristan had. And each and every person that I met taught me more about the beauty and fragility of life. I met mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, orphans, those who lost everything during the recession and those afflicted by the opioid crisis. Abuse victims, drug addicts, criminals and people who were simply unlucky all came to the same spot at one point in their life - homefree.

It took me many years to understand what Tristan was telling me when he said that he was homefree. I now realize that what he was telling me was that by leaving everything behind he didn't lose a single thing, in fact, he gained everything. We can get so caught up in our material possessions that we fail to see the very gift we are given in life - life itself.

So, to honor all of the homefree individuals I have met, here is a list of some of the greatest advice and life lessons I have been given:

1. Surround yourself with people who have accomplished their dream, because those who have found success can teach others to do the same.

2. Gratitude is one of the most powerful things you can possess. Find gratitude in everything you will have and you will never want for more.

3. The only thing that my degree will give me is a framed piece of paper on a wall. What we ask ourselves is, "what can I give towards my degree," or in other terms, what can I give as a result of my degree?

4. When making decisions ask yourself, "what would my younger self think of this?" Be the hero that you always wanted and needed when you were younger.

5. Strive to fail, not succeed because the greatest lessons in life are learned not from our successes, but from our failures.

6. If you want something in life, write it down and every night before you go to bed read what you have written. In doing so you will overcome the fear of failure.

7. Everything in life was once a thought. No great invention came before the very idea of it. Each and every one of your thoughts must be treated as if they may come to fruition. And in doing so you will rewire your brain to treat each thought as a gift.

8. Everyone is facing an inner battle. We must do our best to never contribute to that battle, instead we must approach each person and interaction with kindness and compassion.

9. Stop looking for happiness outside of yourself. It cannot be attained or purchased, and it cannot be accessed through a relationship. Happiness is within.

10. Each and every person is unique and in that originality comes a one-of-a-kind gift. What is the thing you do the best with the least amount of effort? That is your gift.

My gift in life is compassion. That gift was the result of a great deal of adversity and pain. But, had my younger self not experienced those hardships I would have never become the person I am today.